Nobody can deny the resume is the number one job search tool. These days, résumés come in different forms, from traditional paper documents to flashy, professionally made videos. The bottom line is: it doesn’t matter how good your other skills are, you require a killer resume to secure an interview. Plenty of you will be sitting in front of the computer and sending your job application electronically. Here are some tips for you with my guarantee that your resume will stand out every single time.
Let me do a count down on how to make your resume unforgettable.
Number 4: Foul language and slang always get attention. After all, don’t you love yelling at others to get his or her attention in real life? Everyone should be able to apply this very easily. For example:
– G’Day Sir
– I’m one of da best performers in da team
– I left my previous job coz she was very b*tchy and unfair
– Bloody good in computing especially Solitaire
Number 3: Creative backgrounds and symbols. Imagine the hiring manager has been sitting in the office the whole morning. Obviously, something is needed to get their attention. Why not send her a document with multiple colours and a colourful floral background (as HR managers are usually female and all women love flowers) to get her attention? Make sure you don’t forget those smiling faces everyone loves adding at the end of every text message such as :p or ^.^
Number 2: Fun with fonts. You can choose to write the entire resume IN CAPS or in font size 30. Don’t we all know things IN CAPS are important? A few commonly seen examples are AIR MAIL, URGENT, PAID and OVERDUE. Capitalisation emphasises how important you and your work experiences are. If you decide to use a large font size, the hiring manager will be foolish to miss your important piece of work.
Number 1: Personalize it. Use a highlight pen to hand write your resume; if you want to show your commitment to the job you are applying for, choose the colour as close to blood as you can get. It demonstrates how keen and serious you are as a person and to the job. I guarantee you this will set you apart from the competition like nothing else.
P.S. This blog post is just a joke. I hope nobody takes this seriously and I would never encourage anyone to do silly things like that.